Most of you didn’t know Nicole, but let me tell you about her – she was the most fiercely loyal friend I could have ever asked for from the time we met when we were five. She was my biggest cheerleader and protector – always. I never ever worried about her talking about me behind my back because she was ALWAYS on my side – even when I was wrong. From elementary school to high school to adulthood when we became sisters-in-law, if anyone ever said anything to or about me, Nicole jumped immediately to my defense. Ours was the purest friendship, completely devoid of deception or betrayal or jealousy or petty arguments – which is pretty remarkable considering we were friends for 35 years. We told each other frequently how much we loved each other, and I will forever cherish all the messages I have from her. Words matter and outlast us, and all of hers were kind and loving, just as she was (see pic below for quotes from some of the sweet, treasured messages she sent me). She didn’t know that day was going to be her last day here, but she couldn’t have shown any of us more love, patience, and faithfulness, even if she had known it was. That’s just how she lived and who she was. How many of us can say that? I try, but I know I fail.
Don’t think that this was the only side to Nicole, though. She was also the loudest, funniest person in the room most of the time – especially if she got tickled. She got me sent out in the hall in the 4th grade because she laughed so hard and uncontrollably when one of our classmates farted that all of us around her started to laugh uncontrollably too; when the teacher (Nancy McDerment Chandler) told us to go in the hall, I was the only one who got up and went – but I couldn’t even be mad for long because she thought that was hysterical too and laughed until I laughed alongside her. She did it again in 8th grade and almost got our whole table detention. She laughed big, just like she loved big, and that laugh, the one you hear in the video below, is the sound I will always hear when I think of her. It was the laugh that got us in trouble, that helped us dry our tears in tough times, that was inevitably going to pour out of her at the most inopportune, inappropriate times. She loved life, though, and found the humor in it. I’ve been working on finding my “laugh” again without her.
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It’s strange to live in a world without her, without my safety net, my constant, my sister and my friend. I’m still trying to find my way, as are all of us who were close to her. And while I’m always going to wish we had had more years together like I thought we would, I’m so very grateful for those we shared because not everyone has a Nicole – and my life was richer because she was such an inextricable part of it.
When we tell you all to #LoveLikeNicole, we’re asking a lot of you. It’s a love that is steadfast, devoted, loyal, a love that is free from judgment or pretension or artifice. It’s a love that is shared openly and purely, a love you never have to question or doubt. It’s a love that leaves a void, but a love that leaves a legacy and shows us who we should aspire to be.